Another Level of Love & Patience

Quiet Surrender

Put up the decorations. Hang the ornaments. Don't forget the lights. Order groceries. Re-order or go to another grocery store to buy what they didn't have on my list. Drive to store. Clean up yesterday's mess. Finish decorating. Gather ingredients for holiday meal. Broken glass! Again. Clean that! Did I order barbecue sauce 🤔 Auuughhh! Fluff pillows. Line up snowmen and electronic singing Santa’s 🎅. Vacuum.

Breathe!!!!!

Stop!!!!

Breathe!!!

Nap.

Start over. 🥱 😴

In the past it was easier to compile my lists of things to do for Christmas dinner, before guests arrived. I’d start putting up decorations in the morning and would be finished by late afternoon: andend with a delectable snack. Groceries would be purchased. If I forgot something, no problem; I'd just run out and grab it.

But now: I have a new enemy that I must learn to embrace [the mental /emotional/physical wall]. It’s real y'all. Patience and I are having some serious conversations nowadays.

This is another level of self-care, self-love, and awareness, as I am learning to be patient with myself and kind as I walk lovingly into each new day.

Before the stroke, I ran and ran and ran, without giving much thought to conserving my energy. I mean seriously, do you ever stop to think about if whether or not you'll have enough energy to cook a complete meal? Or put your clothes on in the morning? Everything takes energy. Every thought. Every conversation. Even sitting in a meeting takes energy. Everything we do takes energy.

This moment I’ve decided to be wiser with my choices in where I’ ll spend my energy. I’ll be wiser with my conversations. And avoid the negative ones like a plauge. They're emotionally draining anyway. I'll truly enjoy the opportunity to engage in loving and kind conversations. I've always enjoyed spending time with those closest to me and will continue to do so.

In my return to “quiet surrender,” I’m giving myself permission to take moments of peace and joy to be me. I will love where I have landed in my life. I embrace the me that I am becoming; whatever that may be.

I embrace the changes, though they may be challenging. I embrace this space as I reimagine, reexamine, reinvent Me.

Here's to The Rebirth 🦚

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Joy. Peace. Kindness.