Day 9: I Didn’t Want to Get Out of Bed…

So I Drew What That Felt Like.

Continuing on with mental health month . . .

Some days are hard. Like yesterday. Writing is “mental” and takes a lot of energy, I was so exhausted sitting here writing and researching how to better use Substack. So many opinions on how to increase engagement and get paid subscribers. I actually didn't plan on giving this much energy or effort to Substack, but, here we are. I'm giddy with joy that my efforts are starting to pay off as paid subscribers are trickling in. Definitely a plus!! 🥰 Thank you so much paid subscribers!! 😘

Anyhoo, back to the topic: typically I'll take breaks and draw when I'm tired; if I can muster up enough energy, I'll go upstairs to my art studio to start a painting.

I remember there were some mornings when just lifting my head off the pillow felt like a marathon. I’d get dressed—barely—and that was it. That was all I had to give.

Fatigue, my constant companion, is not just tiredness. It’s a full-body shutdown. Emotional and physical exhaustion that hits without warning. You remember the old Energizer Bunny commercials? The one where the bunny just keeps going… until it doesn’t—because it’s using some off-brand battery? That’s me. That’s neurological fatigue. One minute I’m ready to run a race, or at least do laundry… and five minutes later, bam, I’ve hit a wall. My Honey can look at me and he'll say, “you've hit a wall”? Eyes heavy. Exhaustion takes over my entire body! Muscles limp. Mind fogged.

In the beginning, June 2021, it was worse. Paralyzing, really. But even today, if I overdo it—if I push too hard—I’ll crash. The look on my face gives it away every time. I’ve been told I suddenly look like the life drains out of me. And when that happens, I have to listen. I must lie down. Sometimes for 30 minutes. Sometimes more.

And in those hard moments, especially early on, when I didn’t want to do anything—I found a way to still express something.

One day, I drew what it felt like to not want to get out of bed.

I scribbled the sensation of heavy limbs. I drew little stick people. Nothing cute. I used an ink pen, black, to show the weight of it all. And y'all I can't draw, paint, yes, draw, nope!! But, I sat and drew my stick figures.

And you know what? That mattered. That helped. It actually became fun to draw my little figures every morning. Most times I'd sit and laugh at my drawings. They're hilarious, some of them.

I wasn’t trying to make something pretty. I wasn’t trying to make sense of it. I was just imprinting on paper how I felt.

I was just trying to honor the truth of my experience. And, its caught on, my family and friends draw their own stick figures it so cute.

Gentle creativity became a way to say: “This is real. I see you.”

Today’s Gentle Assignment:

If you're feeling low-energy today, I invite you to try this:

1. Choose one color that reflects how your body or mind feels.

2. Draw, paint, scribble, or doodle what your fatigue or sadness or restlessness feels like—without judgment.

3. Let it exist. You don’t have to fix anything. Just give your feelings a form.

4. Or, like me, draw something, anything from your day.

Then rest.

Because sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is listen to your body… and let it be exactly where it is.

I belong to many support groups and I often find myself saying this, “if you are hurting, too angry to think rationally, want to give up!, please seek support “.

I will always encourage therapy. It's ok if you reach out to let someone help.

Be gentle to yourself,

Michelle Joy Brown Your Artist Friend 🧡

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